The Internet is a bastion of delight for foodies. From Instagram posts of delicious meals to YouTube channels filled with creative dishes, there is an endless supply of material for the hungry masses. Unfortunately, there is also a wealth of food monstrosities that no human should ever endure.
But of all the monstrosities, the worst may have been discovered. Five-time James Beard award-winning writer Dara Grumdahl found a recipe so heinous, she needed to alert the Twitter-verse to its existence:
The terrible recipe is for a tiramisu made of bagels, non-dairy creamer and cream cheese. Traditional tiramisu uses ladyfingers, mascarpone cheese and normal dairy. You could question whether this particular recipe can even be called a “tiramisu.” It would be like making a pizza on toast with ketchup and american cheese on top.
Here’s the full recipe, as posted on the Hallmark Channel website:
1.5 cup French press coffee
2.8 oz cream cheese
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup powdered non-dairy coffee creamer
1/8 cup COLD water
1/3 chocolate bar
1 tbsp Brandy or Amaretto coffee flavoring
1 tsp lemon juice
1. Chill beaters and a bowl in fridge.
2. Using a cheese grater grate chocolate. Set aside.
3. Using 3-4 bagels.
4. Set bagel on it's side like a wheel. Cut bagels as if they were a loaf of bread. Discard the end pieces. Cut each piece into thirds if small bagels or fourths if larger. Set aside.
5. Heat french press coffee on a low and add 1tbsp sugar (or maple syrup)
6. Then in chilled bowl beat non dairy creamer and water for 1-2min. Gradually add in 1+ tbsp sugar (or maple syrup).
7. Add lemon -if you have. Set aside.
8. In a bowl beat cream cheese, brandy and milk. After 1 min slowly add in creamer mixture and continue to beat for an additional 2min or so.
9. Arrange 1st layer of bagels in bottom of 9x9 glass pan and brush with coffee mixture in all sides. Pour cream cheese layer on top.
10. Create another layer of bagels and repeat steps. Make three layers total.
11. Top with cream cheese mixture and sprinkle with grated chocolate.
12. Chill in refrigerator for 2 hrs before serving.
To be fair, the recipe was made by Allison McAtee, an actress who currently stars on a soap opera and is not a professional cook.
Still, bagels? In a tiramisu? There’s no excuse for that.